My bright blue Honda Element’s license plate reads OMHAPPY. I get a lot of funny looks and a lot of questions. For most people, I just tell them it’s supposed mean I’m happy. But for some, like me, it has another meaning too. In meditation, OM is the sound of gratitude. And it is my daily reminder to be grateful for all the things in my life that make me happy. It is also my daily reminder to never stop pursuing my goals in life, especially the ones that make me happy physically and spiritually.
Where am I going with this? Well… off on a tangent I suppose.
This project is making me crazy! Somehow the idea of trying out a bunch of fun things over the course of a year has turned in a serious quest for personal development. I’m trying to take it lightly, but that is not an easy thing for me to do. It feels like a beginning (or continuation) of a personal journey for me and is hopefully putting me on track to a new way of living my life. I’m currently burrowing deeper into my own soul as I allow God, Nature, and any other existing forces to work through me, with me, as I put my trust in my doctor, and as I allow my body to heal itself. My newest goal is to be present in every moment. To remove from my world the things that detract from happiness and connection with the earth, my loved ones, and my soul. To beat anxiety. To heal my body and rid it of allergies and intolerances. To be strong and energetic, patient, and happy.
Not at all overly ambitious, eh? Right… Well, it’s not something I can do in a month. Or even two months. Or probably even a whole year. But it’s a start right now. And this second phase of my “project” is just going to be about practicing being present, every day, as much as I can. So that everything can (hopefully) start falling into place.
For now I’m going to focus on something that I can do in a month or so. Something concrete. And attainable. And realistic. 🙂 So here it is:
I’ve always had this dream of being an expert in yoga. I once almost signed up for a yoga teacher training, but I’m pretty sure pregnancy got in the way. And it was expensive.. And it wasn’t practical at the time… And.. And.. And… But now, I’m going to give it a try. Just learning, at my own pace, no expectations whatsoever. And probably very few formal classes because it is nearly impossible to escape my precious little guys at the exact same time a local class is being held. But we will see, there is always hope! I’ve got DVD’s and I’ve got a great book, plus there’s always the Wii fit yoga if I get desperate. 🙂
I hope that if I spend this time, quietly, learning to breathe correctly as I move my body, it will help me in my desire to become more present and more aware of everything with my day to day life. I’m going to shoot for mornings, before the family wakes up… I hope I can do it!
On a semi related note, I’m very lucky to have been accepted as a new patient of Dr. Diana Schwarzbein, a very well known endocrinologist in Santa Barbara. And I’m even luckier to have a supportive husband who wants me to feel well and is willing to work extra hard to pay for me to see her (she doesn’t accept insurance). Knowing I’m in good hands is going to allow me to stop stressing about how I’m feeling, and will stop me from having to wonder if I am making the right choices for my health. My mind can be free to be elsewhere. This is a HUGE thing for me. It’s an immense weight off my shoulders.
Here’s to a little more peace and mental clarity heading my way…. plus, it’s almost SPRING! My favorite time of year!