01mrm,  about me,  Motherhood

every atom in this beautiful universe

It’s been slow on the writing front… I needed a little help and was inspired by this question today.  I even surprised myself a little bit by what came out.

Random writing prompt: What do you WANT, right now? 

To be strong and healthy and patient.  To have the amazing ability to do “everything”, or at least everything I want to do, from homeschooling my kids to writing my heart out, to photographing moments that are drenched in emotion and silent stories.  To be healed of my shortcomings, my health issues – to no longer crave sugar and medication when I am weak or sick, to no longer feel anxiety and to leave behind forever the gripping knot in my stomach.  To be pure and free, strong willed and spirited, spirit-full, full of spirit and faith in the kind God that I believe in and feel present in my daily life.  To let go of everything my ego thinks I “need” and listen only to my heart, and the hearts of my children and family, which beat in rhythm with mine.  To feel the pain of the world and to be able to do something about it.  To see the wrongs and the rights and to be able to filter through them and lift up the good and roll through the bad until the light is once again sparkling and my mission is crystal clear.  To know my purpose like it’s written on my heart and reflected on every atom in this beautiful universe.

I want to inspire.  To grow.  To know my own heart and my own mind.  To not be buried in fog.  Or fear.  To live in the moment, today and everyday without worry for the future.  I want to choose life.  I want to celebrate every moment.  I want to live epic stories.  I want to remember and be remembered.  I want to give my kids beautiful amazing memories of happy family moments and I never want them to doubt for a second how much they are loved, how much they mean to me, how much they changed my world for the crazy awesome better.

I want to start living in color.  Stop letting the world stifle my desire for bold and bright color.  Paint cabinets.  Paint walls and furniture.  Make pillows.  Make quilts.  Make our home bright and cheerful and happy.  My favorite part of our home is the family room with the green wall.  I get so many compliments on our green wall.  I need more green walls.  No more black and white and brown and grey.  It’s time to be bold and beautiful.  Yellows and oranges and turquoise.  Greens, yes more greens.  And pink and purple.  Rugs and bedspreads and pillows and blankets and photographs and frames and art and beauty of all kinds.  ALL OVER the FREAKING house.  Because we only live ONCE.  Why be boring and plain and white and black.

And I want to keep reading.  Reading stories and memoirs and uplifting tales of challenges and hope.  Epic stories.  And I want more relaxing days.  Like today.  I read all day long.  While the boys watched movies and had quiet time and napped, even while they jumped all over me.  I still read my book, hooked on words written with joy and passion and full of beautiful language and emotion.  I need to read more.  and more.  because it inspires me.  And it helps me relax and write.  This type of inspiration and downtime is more important than a clean house and folded laundry.  More important than organizing the shoe bin or cleaning out clothes from drawers or making sure everything is done and crossed off my list.  So I want to designate time for the to do list – and spend the rest of the time living life out loud, making the most of my one wild and precious life.  I will only have this day once.  This moment once.  When it is gone, it is gone.  So I need to make the most of every moment, every day, every word I speak and every experience that is thrown my way..

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