I am probably going to regret this post the second I hit publish. In fact, I don’t even know if I will hit publish. Will. Be.. Brave… Here goes!
As mothers, we tend to focus solely on our husbands and children, and as photographers, we are ALWAYS behind the camera. Needless to say, there are very few photos of myself in the masses of digital files buried on our computer, except for the moments Ryan sweetly grabs the camera and makes a point to get some pictures of me with the boys. I do love that about him!
I have been making a point lately to dress like a girl. I don’t know what happened to me over the last couple years, but i assume it is nothing other than the 180 degree shift into motherhood that crowded out my ability and desire to look “pretty” on a daily basis. Makeup went out the window when I quit my job, dressy shoes when my pregnant belly affected my stability. I stopped wearing jewelry when it scratched my baby, and again when he started trying to eat it. Lately I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror and seeing messy hair, wrinkles, and circles under my eyes. I feel old and tired. While I’m making steps in my life to improve my health, this image in the mirror makes me want to make an effort on the outside as well.
At just the right time, this came along. Inspired by Melissa‘s challenge, and in addition to following along with her and her readers, I’m giving myself the extra couple minutes to pick out something pretty, whether a whole outfit or just adding a piece of jewelry to my t shirt and jeans.
So what am I getting to here? Last week, Maegan’s Creativity Boot Camp included an assignment for a self portrait. This. was. not. an. easy. assignment. I probably deleted about 95% of the photos I took of myself. I deleted wrinkles and harried expressions, half closed eyes and bulging body parts. Pointing the camera at myself, I didn’t know where to look, how to shape my body. I longed to pull a child in my lap, to take the focus off of me, to hide a little of myself in these baring pictures, but they were both sleeping soundly in their beds. I had no choice but to simply find the light, and just go with it. Thanks Maegan, for pushing me out of my comfort zone and making me do this. Here are my “best” shots. I am working on blocking out my self critic, and am blushing at the thought of hitting publish.